Terry Crews wrote a book during the pandemic. He describes it a "actually five books in one." It is very much about power, its use and abuse, and the problem of toxic masculinity. What is the proper response when one makes up a set of rules, but refuses to follow them and breaks ties with anyone who calls out that failure to live by one's own code. Crews grew up with the worst role models, seeing public and private power abused - all about competition and who is the alpha predator with the iron fist. He lived from rage to rage. As to his NFL career, Crews said it was like "prison, but with money."
Terry Crews eventually damaged all of the important ralationships in his life, getting to the point where, he said, "I needed to do something different or I am going to die." He indeed found the way; here is the truth about important issues, which are not only his issues, but every man's issues. Recounting difficult events not only liberated Terry Crews. He has heard from so many people who say, "these things happened to me too," and the others were liberated.
The book covers important issues at the root of toxic masculinity. One example is conflating the work role with the human being. Many of his NFL colleagues had to rebuild themselves after quitting football, as they defined themselves first as players. Almost always, the people being violent or abusing substances, fighting over perceived disrespect or experiencing marital strife, have a sense of lost control over their lives.
Crews credits his wife with the essential push to get him onto the path toward rebuilding his life on a solid footing. The book conveys important lessons about overcoming abusiveness and toxic masculinity by developing a different view of oneself, one's own value, and a better way to respond when tested. When the change happens, the difference in life is palpable and real.
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